Everybody Poops… Especially CBC’s Grant Lawrence: Celebrating Amigos Cantina

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Ominocity pays tribute to long-running Saskatoon institution

Amigos Cantina, Saskatoon’s glorious buffet of both live music and spicy fare, is about to turn 25 this weekend. It’s a monumental amount of time.

It also means that a monumental amount of bands have played there during that time. And while every rock show has it’s own sordid story – especially if it was any good – Amigos has seen more than its fair share of debaucheries.

Like the time CBC’s Grant Lawrence shit his pants there.

Before he was a radio personality and author of several books, including his latest hockey memoir The Lonely End of the Rink, Lawrence was the front man of Vancouver party rock garage combo The Smugglers, who played at Amigos over the course of three decades.

“We first played there in the ‘80s, the ‘90s and the last time we played there was likely 2004,” he said in an interview with Ominocity. “And it was great every time.”

Well, maybe not every time.

In the liner notes of the group’s live album Growing Up Smuggler, Lawrence hints at a dirty tale that occurred in our very own music venue. It doesn’t sound particularly pretty. But it’s funny and engrossing nonetheless. Also, there’s a huge element on the grossing part.

poop smugglers

It’s a story that he has told numerous times, including once on MuchMusic, but Ominocity thinks it’s one worth another re-telling. So here it is.

The time CBC’s Grant Lawrence Shit His Pants At Amigos.

On one of our earlier trips to Amigos it was one of those crazy, crazy nights in the upstairs band room. There were couches and mattresses and shit everywhere and you would just pass out wherever. And when you’ve drank so many bottles of Bohemian you are a little bit out of it. So in the morning I was trying to make my way to the bathroom but there was already a line-up of a bunch of people I didn’t know. And I let out what I thought was a very loud fart that turned out to be a shart. So basically I spraypainted the inside of my tighty-whiteys a rich, chocolate brown.

Oh my god, what have I done, I thought.

But back then we were so cheap and destitute as a band. Basically a normal response for anyone who sharted in their underpants would be to throw them away. But I had so little self-respect and dignity back then I thought that I could wash them and wear them later. Even though basically they were a giant dirty diaper.

So the guys in the band were mad because I was walking around holding them. So I opened the window in the band room above Amigos and threw the underwear out the window. And I watched them fall and they landed on the roof of our VW camper van. And I thought that I could probably save this underwear and they would be washed by the prairie rain. So I went down to duct tape the gonch to the roof.

But it was a long, hot dry spell and we toured through into the States. After playing there for a week we returned to the border. There had been a light rain that day and we were in a very long line to cross. And there was a car ahead of us with these two young teenage girls looking back and waving and blowing kisses and flirting with us.

And suddenly I remembered my underwear on the roof of the van.

So I felt around and found them. And they were just disgusting – there was still shit in them. So I threw this ginch at them and it landed on the trunk of the car. And sure enough one of the teenage girls reached out and grabbed the underwear and pulled it into the car.

And then there was a twenty second calm where nothing happened. And then suddenly the car exploded with this dirty shit-ginch being thrown around inside onto the mom and dad and finally landed onto the back before getting thrown out of the driver’s side window.

I remember the father looked like he was about to get out and deal with this. But instead he took one look at the five leering, filthy faces and decided instead just to change lanes.

And that’s the story of when I shit my pants in Saskatoon.

– Featured photo courtesy of GrantLawrence.ca

– Editor’s Note – Thanks much to Amigos Promoter Brant Palko for the background information, the Smugglers scan, and for being a rad dude.