Terrible Dating Advice With Matt & Amber

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Coming from a string of failed relationships, Matt and Amber feel they both have enough combined experience in the dating game to qualify as self-proclaimed Dating Columnists. However, any and all advice given is to be taken with a large dose of skepticism, and none of the advice following is intended to replace actual professional counseling and/or medical advice.

“How do you know if someone only likes you for sex?” – Bored of Booty Calls

Matt: I’ve never asked myself this question, nor do I think I would care either way so, as to not incriminate myself in any way, I’ll take a tip from our trustful politicians: no comment.

Amber: If you feel you have to ask the question “Do they only want me for sex?”, then they probably only want you for sex. Or, more accurately, their actions and behaviors are making you feel like they’re pulling the old “You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here” gambit on you. As with most relationship woes, communicating your feelings, desires and whatnot is key. The only way you can know for sure is if you ask them directly, but be prepared for an answer that you probably won’t like.

“Whenever I’m on a first date, I get super anxious and either (A) play it cool and conservative and sound really boring, or (B) don’t hold back and elevate the conversation to a pretentious debate about pegging. In a faux-Scottish accent. How can I find a healthy balance between the two that doesn’t make me seem too crazy or too stuffy?” – Mr. Jekyll

Matt: Alexander Keith or Mr. Boh can make you a little bit Wisers (see what I did there? No help from Mr. Boh at all). I feel for you, I really do. I’m about as useful as a 14 year old girl after a 4 pack of Smirnoff Ice on a first date. I’m a bumbling, awkward fool and maybe at times too talkative to the point of being obnoxious when it comes to first dates, so I’m not one to give advice! If you find a solution to this problem let me know!

Amber: I’m pretty much useless in this regard, because I do a similar thing: I’m either constantly talking due to nervousness, or completely silent due to nervousness. I guess if your date seems into it and is contributing to the conversation as much as you are, you’re in good standing? And if they’re staring at you in abject horror because of your word-for-word recitation of lines from Tropic Thunder in a silly accent, it might be a good idea to tone it down a little. Pick some safe-yet-interesting topics to start with (cool new indie band you just heard of, favourite obscure sci-fi movie, that time your dog did something stupid and it was so cute), and play the rest by ear.

Read more of Matt & Amber’s Terrible Dating Advice HERE.

-Photo taken from Flickr user “Kevin Goebel” – Creative Commons.