dirty martini

Ominocity’s Guide to Summer Drinking: Part 3

Dirty deeds made healthy by vitamin-fortified mixed drink

I’m clearly someone who does not appreciate the finer things in life.

In fact, my ideal night consists of a dirty record spinning on the turntable, a cheap case of beer cooling in a nearby kiddie pool and no pants.

However, there are some things I have grown to appreciate, such as the sacred institution of an after-work drink. And what better way to celebrate than a martini?

Some things should also be left up to a professional; the martini is likely one of those things.

But, like hemming a pair of dress pants, changing the oil in a car and sordid massages, some things should also be left up to a professional. The martini is likely one of those things.

But I also appreciate a good challenge.

So, without further ado, check out Ominocity’s recipes for a truly dirty martini:

Sour “B” Martini

Fill a mixing glass with ice
3 1/2 oz Gin
1/2 oz Sour Apple Liqueur (failing this, add apple juice and more gin)
Dash sour mix (optional)
Strain into chilled glass

Of course, it’s just not a martini without a garnish. However, since I am typically without a decent garnish, I have found that chewable Vitamin B “sour berries” actually make an excellent substitute.

Bonus: The medicine-y taste means it’s healthy, so take that haters!

Editor’s Note – This article is not an endorsement on outdoors drinking, and is solely meant to mock all mainstream media coverage on summer booze.