From first date ideas to proper anal sex etiquette, nothing is off limits
I’ve been giving advice about sex and relationships professionally for the better part of a decade. I’ve written for men’s magazines and women’s, local and online publications on topics ranging from first date ideas to proper anal sex etiquette. It is one of my major life goals to improve the love lives of as many people as possible through education, information and guidance.
Now I’ve been given a platform at Ominocity to interact directly with you, the reader, and offer my take on your love and sex dilemmas. So whether you’ve got a burning question that is too embarrassing to ask your friends about, don’t know where to turn for support or just want an alternative outlook, all you have to do is write to me at Ominocity and I’ll do my best to help you out. My advice style tends to be more Dan Savage than Dear Abby and you can always expect honest, respectful, non-judgmental opinions from my column.
So ask away! No topic is off limits.
Email: sarahsaysadvice at gmail.com
Now to set the mood, I offer the following advice on advice seeking:
Six People Not To Go To For Advice On Your Love Life:
Your Married Friends (If You’re Single)
Yes, they may have once been in your single shoes, but after you’ve been married for a while, the game changes entirely. It’s not just dating conventions that have altered since they were last on the market, your married friends attitudes and philosophies are different too. Another reason not to go to your married friends for advice is that they may have ulterior motives. They may want nothing more than for you to become one of The Marrieds also and their advice may skew toward staying in a relationship if it’s got “marriage potential,” even if it’s the wrong one for you. On the opposite end of the spectrum, they might be living vicariously through you and therefore swaying you to remain in the dating game just so they can continue hearing your single stories.
Your Single Friends (If You’re Married)
The obvious reason not to go to your forever single friends with issues of marital discord is that they simply don’t have experience with a long-term committed relationship and would probably have trouble putting themselves in your place, especially if they are proud of their single status and have no intention of changing it. If your friend is the kind of person that desperately wants to join the married ranks themselves, going to them with your problems may be met with a less-than-helpful reaction. They might refuse to see your problem as a problem, insisting that being married is the be-all, end-all of romantic issues and you should suck it up and be happy that you have someone.
The Friend Who Hates Your Partner
If your partner is the issue, don’t consult the friend who has made no secret of the fact that she does not care for your significant other. At least not until you’ve already decided for yourself that the relationship should end. If you don’t break up or end up going back to the relationship, it’s going to create a rift between you and the friend who finally got to unload about what a jerk she thinks your not-better-half is.
Grandma or Grandpa may have some universal insights into the ways of love, but a lot has changed since their dating days. Generally speaking, along with advanced age comes a certain tendency to be set in one’s ways and your grandparent is probably not the right person to go to for open-minded advice.
Unless we’re talking adult children, do not go to your offspring with romantic troubles. It is most likely beyond their capability to comprehend anyway and they shouldn’t be burdened with your struggles unless an imminent change in the family structure is approaching. We don’t really have to go into why it’s not a good idea to ask your kids for sex advice, do we?
Your Hair Stylist
There’s something about sitting down in a hair stylist’s chair covered with a plastic cape that makes a person want to spill their guts, but your hair stylist may not be the right person to seek advice from when it comes to your love life. Even if you see your stylist on a regular basis, he or she doesn’t really know you and can only go based on what you’ve revealed while they work, which means their advice will tend to be more of the “if it were me” variety and not tailored to your situation. Go easy on your stylists, everyone. They may seem like a convenient captive audience for your romantic woes, but giving relationship advice is not in their job description. While we’re at it, let’s leave those bartenders alone too.
With all that said, maybe you have a super modern Grandma who is up to date on the way things work these days or perhaps your 10-year-old is preternaturally gifted in matters of the heart. Ultimately, the person you go to for advice has to be someone whose judgment you trust, whose ideas you respect and who you believe has your best interest at heart. I’m looking forward to the opportunity to be that person for you.
Send your questions to: sarahsaysadvice at gmail.com
– Featured photo via Flickr user “Grimages” – Creative Commons.