Ominocity’s Guide to Going Back to School

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Students predictably flock back to educational institutions following end of summer

It’s an event you could set your watch to.

Like the wayward abandoned wiener purchased from a questionable exhibition fair hotdog stand, summer has now congealed into a cold, stale, shrivel-y memory. And, tellingly, students return from their temp jobs to hit the books.

Every year I get slightly jealous at all those youngsters who get to spend their time idly sitting under fluorescent lights and secretly texting under their desks. Being a student was and is a wonderful experience. However, having since graduated from two post-secondary institutions, it can be hard to remain rosy about the world of academics.

Retrospectively, earning a distinction from a university was akin to that first slow dance in elementary school – it’s something awkward to get out of the way, and all the good shit comes afterwards.

A Degree in Debt

This is a no-brainer, but, unless you are extremely lucky or otherwise independently wealthy, attending a post-secondary collegiate is a surefire way to land yourself in a heaping helping of debt. But that degree automatically means you get a job, right?

A Degree in No one really cares

I’ve successfully applied for an impressive amount of professional-type jobs. But not once have I ever been prompted to actually produce my degree. We here at Ominocity would never, ever encourage anyone to lie about their qualifications – and who are we to be giving academic advice anyway since both founders were university drop-outs back in the day. But, truthfully, simply rattling off whatever degree you may or may not have seems to satisfy most potential employers.

A Degree in Uselessness

Maybe it’s just me, and every other liberal arts student ever, but my degree has had very little to do with my real-life professional activities. Sure, that political studies degree was useful in landing a contract with the government – unfortunately all my essays on the Failures of Democracy as cited by Some Guy You’ve Never Heard Of weren’t all that helpful in my actual duties. In fact, several of my tasks involved esoteric graphic design applications, which made me feel like a useless turd. Therefore, dropping out of my job and going back to school to study Illustration in Business Communications seemed like a good course of action…

Except my latest professional activity has absolutely nothing to do with this field either. Doh.

Featured photo via Flickr user Boston Public Library, Creative Commons.