Thinking about sex in public? Think again!
It’s a common story shared by those who work in the service industry – especially in establishments where booze is served. It’s a tale about a particularly randy faction of people who like to get out and see the sights of the city and experience the ample nightlife.
And then they have sex there.
But if you are one of those saucy birds who craves getting down and nasty in public, odds are you’ve exposed some skin to a casual passer-by. But what about the people on the other end of things? We’re talking about those bartenders and waitresses who’ve seen a pair of pressed hams while on the clock.
Sure, it’s illegal (we think), but it’s also kind of hilarious, especially since most bars, pubs and clubs have security cameras installed nowadays. Bare your buttocks and somewhere, someone is laughing at you.
In fact, after conducting several semi-off-the-record interviews, Ominocity learned that most of our bar staff pals have at least one sordid story to tell of walking in on couples banging in restrooms and on rooftop patios.
Ominocity eventually found one waitress willing to go on the record, name withheld of course, who has worked at several establishments throughout the province and beyond. But, strangely enough, her most sordid tale actually happened in the bathroom of a fast food restaurant and not a bar.
Insert terrible supersize joke here.
Ominocity: So where exactly were you when you caught the big greasy? And how many nipples did you get to see?
Victoria Albright*: I was retrieving some frozen french fries from the basement stock room, when I noticed a puddle of water seeping out from the staff bathroom. I heard giggling right before an amalgamation of screaming and the shattering of porcelain.
OM: Sounds intense…
VA: The staff bathroom burst open and out ran a half-naked girl drenched from head to twat. There was water spraying out after her.
OM: How did you know she was mid-coitus?
VA: Because of the naked guy who ran out after her. Plus they had actually been banging for a while and he had been bragging about it around the deep fryer earlier that week.
OM: So what exactly happened?
VA: Apparently they were banging and halfway through the sink gave out under the weight of their collective asses.
OM: So was the restaurant shut down for health code violations?
VA: The girl was fired pretty much right then and there. But for some reason the guy got to keep his job. What a dumb world we live in.
– Featured photo from Flickr user “drinksmachine” – Creative Commons.