Terrible Dating Advice With Matt & Amber

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Coming from a string of failed relationships, Matt and Amber feel they both have enough combined experience in the dating game to qualify as self-proclaimed Dating Columnists. However, any and all advice given is to be taken with a large dose of skepticism, and none of the advice following is intended to replace actual professional counseling and/or medical advice.

“How do I make my boyfriend put down the XBox controller and put on pants?” – If I Was Lara Croft, Maybe He’d Actually Pay Attention to Me

Amber: Why would you want him to put on pants? Pants are evil, and get in the way of sexytimes. As far as him being glued to the latest edition of Halo or COD or whatever, have you tried actually talking to him about it? Maybe bring it up that you’re concerned that he’s spending more time shouting inflammatory epithets and “PWND N00B!” into his headset while shooting zombies than he is paying attention to you.

Or you could always, you know, play with him and enjoy some lovely couples-only pantsless first person shooting.

Matt: I’ll put down the controller when you stop making me watch endless hours of “Project Runway” and all those Reality TV shows you’re into. Personally, I don’t play many video games due to not enough time in the day, but when I do it’s something I enjoy. When you nag constantly at us dudes to quit playing, do you actually think that makes us want to quit? Now, I do know people who play copious amounts and really should cut back; in this case I would really suggest talking to them about it and expressing how it makes you feel. As men, we hate the “How it makes you feel” conversation, but due to communication being Number 1 in a relationship we must attend this dreadful conversation. If he still won’t cut back on the gaming maybe he isn’t right for you…

Or you could take Ambers advice: most guys drool at the idea of their girlfriend sitting down and PWNING N00BS with them, jus’ sayin’.

“I’m curious about trying online dating. How does a site like OKCupid/PlentyOfFish/eHarmony work for a city like Saskatoon, and how does it compare to normal ol’ IRL dating?” – Everyone and Their Sexy Single Mothers

Matt: I don’t personally know how they work, due to the fact I have never used one. I’m not sure if I could ever turn to online dating due to the stigma attached to them ( you know, like only sad old bastards occupy these sites). This is a new age in technology though, and I don’t believe those old stereotypes apply to dating sites anymore. A city like Saskatoon is so small that sometimes you can run out of “friends of friends”, and a dating site might be useful to find someone you could connect with that you wouldn’t normally meet in real life. I have also heard horror stories from many women about the 30 creeps to 1 normal person, so keep your creep radar handy.

Amber: I have never ever ever used a dating website. Except for all those times that I did. 30 creeps to 1 normal person sounds like a pretty accurate ratio in my experience: in amongst a sea of fedora-wearing weirdos and shirtless bros (seriously, guys? No more mirror-flash self shots with your camera phone. Nobody finds it attractive) are a handful of normal, decent people. Those people almost make going through waves of “sup s3xy” and “My darling, I think I have found the one…” messages worth it. I’m still friends with a lot of people I met on places like OKC and other networking/dating type sites, and they’re pretty cool people. Online dating has the advantage over IRL dating as far as near-anonymity and block features are concerned, but for the most part it’s pretty comparable and frustrating at times. Just play it safe, and never agree to give out your phone number or meet in person with someone who gives your instincts the heebie-jeebies.

Also, something else to keep in mind: since Saskatoon is such a small and incestuous city, you will probably accidentally come across your friend’s, ex’s, relative’s, boss’s, coworker’s and therapist’s dating profiles. I’ve probably run across yours (yes, yours) at some point. And if you come across mine by accident, be a pal and rate me five stars, okay?

Read more of Matt & Amber’s Terrible Dating Advice HERE.

-Photo taken from Flickr user “litlnemo” – Creative Commons.