Making It Quick

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The Quickie Revolution

“I will be in the back seat of my car with the woman I love, and I won’t be back for ten minutes” – Homer Simpson

A popular anxiety within the realm of male sexuality is how long they can last in bed. The general belief is that women are insatiable, lusty creatures who want sex to last for hours on end, and they desire a man who can live up to these expectations. To dissolve these assertions is almost impossible, because if your partner does not want the sex to last long, then it is taken as an insult against your performance.

Surely good sex should be desired for long lengths of time, right?

Mick Jagger once sang that time was on his side, and that may be all well and good for Mr. Richie Mick himself, but for many of us work or school-aholics who barely have time to shower or eat, we may not be on time’s side. In fact we may harbour strong desires to clock time in the face. As a solution, the quickie was invented.

“The Quickie,” once perhaps attributed with unsatisfying sex due to the short time length, is now the glorious solution to the fast paced world in which we live. Short and concise is “in”- why else would all these websites tell us that our updates or comments are too long and must be shortened?

The answer is that nobody likes spending too much time on anything or anyone anymore. Yes there are times when we all put time a side to really appreciate a partner, and those times should not be disregarded; however, in all the choppy space between the long romantic nights, the quickie keeps those in a relationship from completely forgetting that sex exists.

There are other benefits to the quickie than the fact that it matches with our everyday fast paced lives. The quickie also means jam packed passion where quality makes up for lack of quantity. If you are doing a 100m sprint, you are going to exert a lot more energy off the gun than if you are running a marathon. Quickies also enable a couple to have relations in less conventional or appropriate places. Remember that amazing “Mallrats” scene with Shannen Doherty and Jason Lee on the elevator? The swift execution of the quickie made their experience into a magical encounter regardless of if Doherty’s character declares “too little too late” directly afterwards.

A quickie does not necessarily mean “that is all.” It is all, if that is all that you want, but the regenerative powers of the body allow for the possibility of more quickies to come. So let’s dissolve the belief that quickies are inferior to long winded love making. If “short and sweet” works in every other context, why should it not work in the sexual realm?

— Contributed by guest columnist Amber Andrest.